The Fucking Book – Less Than Mystery – Part One – The Dwarf – Chapter One (1)

The dirt house, where "The Dwarf" grew up.

Foreword: Personally, it is more like reopening an old wound to the world, sometimes like revealing an ancient treasured tomb that me, myself and I have been protecting, sometimes even like digging a future grave for myself, one shovel at a time, since the very beginning.

Strangely, though the “wound” has eventually become a sign of love, as if the final answer to my prayers. I’m so grateful for that. Before I wasn’t sure about doing this, revealing some of my old history of that dark world. But sooner or later, (I’d rather sooner than later), with no choice, I have to. F*ck it.  Don’t I?

 

Less Than Mystery

Heather Cai

Chapter 1

If only I were a little boy…

That was the only thing I longed for, the only thing I wanted, the only thing I desired.

Because of that, I learned to keep my mouth shut when I was a little girl; because of that, I had to pray when tears stained my pillow and nightmares ate my day dreams for countless nights; because of that, I dared not speak out during my long dark childhood, which I doubted ever existed.

It all started before I even had memories and went on till something much worse happened when I was eight. Growing up in a village, where no call could be heard, there was nothing I could do.

* * * * *

Once upon a time, I couldn’t help crying, running to my mother in a rush, and asking, Why can’t father treat me the same as my brother? She just sighed and sobbed, then finally managed to say, Poor thing, don’t cry. Be strong! No one can change that. It’s your destiny.

When you were born, you were small as a rat and light as a wild rabbit. You hardly walked, not until when you were about five years old. I was afraid that you could not survive, as I was away building this house every day. Your grandma already had sent you to a strange family in another small village. Your auntie never gave a hand. For better or worse, with no choice, your father agreed to give you away.

Wait, mom! What do you mean by that you were away building this house? Wasn’t I born in this house? For an instant, I interrupted.

No, you were born in another house in another village. We moved to this house when you were two and half years old.

Why did we move here? Why not stay at the same place as I was born? I was confused.

Hard to say, Lotus. Even if I tell you everything now, you wouldn’t understand much. Anyhow, the less you know, the better. Don’t you want to hear the rest of the story?

Yes, mom. Go on then… I urged her. She then continued.

Because of the one-child policy, the town government already imposed a fine after your birth. It was less than one hundred, but it was a very big money to us. In addition to the fine, they took whatever they wanted. But there was nothing but grain. So they took a load of grain as if they were the landlords.

They were like the mosquitoes that were never satisfied with the blood. And bad news has wings. As soon as they knew I got pregnant with your brother, they came to visit us often, talked about the fine and discussed when to have my sterilisation done. So one month after I gave birth to your brother, I was taken to the town government for the bloody sterilisation without any painkiller. It hurt so much that I just fainted on the cold wooden table where I was lying and they continued.

Oh, mom, I wish I could kill them. All of them!

Better not. We are the eggs. They are the knives. We would be broken even before we could touch them. Anyway, –  ( Click the link if you want to continue. :D)

–To be continued…

PS:

If anyone who simply likes reading the words, the language, the story, or wants to know more about the character, the mysteries and my world, please feel free to like or comment. Any kind of remark will be highly appreciated.

If any agent or publisher, or anyone who has any connection with any agent or any publisher, would be interested in this Fucking Book, please contact this email:

FB.Heather@Outlook.com

Thank you so much!

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21 thoughts on “The Fucking Book – Less Than Mystery – Part One – The Dwarf – Chapter One (1)

  1. Calvin Lee says:

    It is utterly astounding you have been able to do so much with your life from such humble beginnings. Having been dealt a weak hand in the poker game of life, you’re well on your way to winning the whole pot!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. mbracedefreak says:

    I’m curious how many Americans would recognize the location. The one-child rule should clue them in, but I’m not overly confident in reader intelligence. I’m still not sure an agent or publisher will accept your abundant use of the “-ing” ending to words. If they accept it as regional dialect then it should be okay. Your concept and animal metaphors are great, but you may want to inform the agent or publisher that you stay true to the regional dialect of the English language. Zora Neale Hurston wrote in an African American dialect on purpose, so it you have credible reason to use Chinese wording.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Heather Cai says:

      I’ve been curious too. For some of them I’ve met in my life, after I told the truth, they were either startled or seemed to laugh more as if it’s a joke. I still feel strong as if the pain is still there and the horrible thing still happening. It’s a nightmare that I couldn’t talk. I hope the agent or publisher can feel as much as possible as The Dwarf did in her childhood. Then there should be no problem. Now I just want this wound to be closed for ever. Probably, this is why I have to write before I die. I feel too much. But how much too much? Sometimes I’m scared by my own overwhelming feelings. This is a salvation. I ‘ll listen to what they say, but they can’t change how I feel.

      Like

  3. Marc says:

    Hi
    I haven’t finished reading what you have so far.
    I jumped to the part where i could leave a reply so you see right away that you have another follower.
    I really enjoy it so far. I am a recent book worm searching about books and stories. I stumbled across this blog and i want to read more. I will follow and continue the great work. I will comment more tomorrow. I need my coffee and i will finish reading it.
    Good job.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Heather Cai says:

      Hi Marc, first I read your comments, I thought I have another “flower” (follower). And at this point, the image in my mind is, I’ll give you this book and you’ll give me a flower. Thank you so much for the “flower”. Hope you have enjoyed your coffee!:)

      Like

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