The Fucking Book – Less Than Mystery – Part One – The Dwarf – Chapter One(3)

IMG_5140Less Than Mystery

Heather Cai

Chapter 1

Since then, I spoke less and less. {Click the link if you want to read The Dwarf (2) }

* * * * *

When you speak of the devil, the devil comes, so I used to warn myself not to speak. If I did speak, made sure to speak right, not wrong. But almost every time when I tried to speak something right, it went wrong. No matter what, the result seemed to have only me getting punished.

At six or seven, I used to witness that my mother cried when seeing that I fought back with my only young brother, and even once when I had a three-way fight with both my young brother and my old sister. We are all two years apart from each other. I was the smallest child as my body showed and still I am. Whoever caused the fights, the fights always ended up with only me getting punished and hit by my father. By then, with furious anger and a burned reddened face, like a scary thunderstorm night with shining lightning, he shouted at me, Little shit, useless! Little shit, useless!

One evening, a cock was missing. My father couldn’t find it to kill as a dinner for some guests. He told me and my old sister to search. We had looked for it everywhere in the house and outside, but all in vain. Then my father went searching for himself, angrily. But also failed. All of a sudden, he grabbed a dustpan and threw it at my little arms, kicked my ass and legs, pushed me to the ground and then kicked me from head to foot, hard and madly, yelling and howling, Little shit, useless! Little shit, useless!  

After the punishment, my old sister checked my body and comforted me with tears, while I just kept my mouth shut and my eyes dry like they were not mine. Since then, my old sister stopped fighting with me. Since then, by any means, my young brother seemed to enjoy fighting with me, and more often when my father was at home. He always grinned at me when I got hit by my father as often happened and my mother just watched through the door gap with tears, speechless.

 I hated my brother. I hated my father. I hated this family. I hated this world. Why couldn’t I become a boy like my brother?

I screamed sometimes in the wild, out of sight of people during farm working. Driven by great madness, I even managed to pee standing up like my brother did, laughing before my sight, though my pants caught the wetness. I was not afraid of wetting my pants. It was farm land with great cold water in the rice fields. So I just rolled myself in the mud and got wet all over my body before anyone would notice. If only I could simply pee with a ‘little brother’, not squat down with a ‘black hole’. (Click the link if you want to read more!)

–To be continued…


PS:

If anyone who simply likes reading the words, the language, the story, or wants to know more about the character, the mysteries and my world, please feel free to like or comment. Any kind of remark will be highly appreciated.

If any agent or publisher, or anyone who has any connection with any agent or any publisher, would be interested in this Fucking Book, please contact this email:

FB.Heather@Outlook.com

Thank you so much!

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2 thoughts on “The Fucking Book – Less Than Mystery – Part One – The Dwarf – Chapter One(3)

  1. mbracedefreak says:

    I’m biased, so I love it. My bias comes from my early mutism, so the opening paragraph hits home with me. A dwarf features heavily in my own work, so we have another parallel.

    One possible criticism though “during farm working” isn’t a very good line unless you have a dialogue reason. Some writer’s guides warn against using the “-ing” ending on a word too often.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Heather Cai says:

      I’m so glad to hear from you about that particular “parallel”line. Thank you for pointing out the “-ing” thing. Honestly, when I write, I just care how I feel. But I know this humbly writing needs a professional proofread and some edit and maybe rewriting too. So I do appreciate your honest opinions. 🙂

      Like

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