The Fucking Book – Less Than Mystery – Part One – The Dwarf – Chapter Three(3)

Less Than Mystery

Heather Cai

Chapter 3


{Click here to read Chapter Three (2)}

Since then, there was a big beautiful butterfly flying in the open air above the kitchen when we cooked dinner at the usual time. Then when the cooking was finished, it would fly away as carelessly as it appeared. On the first day, I thought it was just a normal butterfly. But the following day at the same evening cooking time, the same butterfly appeared with its wings fluttering around, as if saying hello. In the same area, it happily circled around above the steaming heat of the cooking pot.  How amazing it was!

Then the next day, and the next, the next and next, the butterfly would appear and disappear at the same time, same place, naturally.  Though the butterfly never visited my grandfather, just like my grandmother never spoke to my grandfather. Not in my memory. Not even a look.

* * * * *

Unfortunately, when I thought I could talk to my grandfather about the butterfly, he was suffering from the terrible illness which made him blind, deafer and mentally crazy. Also the cough made it quite difficult for him to speak for long. Day by day, he looked older, thinner and weaker with sunken cheeks and hollow eyes. Gradually, he turned sad and depressed like a sickened crow in the graveyard, powerless and fruitless.

Is he waiting for something like death? I wondered.

Especially, when fetching his diary regarding his medals from an old wooden box under his bed, and reading quietly beside him, now and then, I sadly glanced at his colorless face and heard his heavy breath from his half blocked nose. Sometimes, I caught some teardrops stealing out of his eyes and falling to his ears across his face. And that too gave me tears in silence.

After my grandfather was unable to live as he had done before, one evening, my father beat him twice in my sight when feeling frustrated from heavy farm work, while my grandfather was groaning noisily and painfully. One time he punched him in the shoulder and the other he kicked his legs with great anger. In half a minute, my father shouted out in a tone like a sudden thunderstorm, Why not die?! Old sickened thing! Burden! Die! Better we all go to die!

The room was dead silent and the air was frozen like a burial chamber under the snows. All of a sudden, my father burst out with floods of tears and cried like a helpless baby in the wild rocky desert. 

{Click here to read Chapter Three (4)}

To be continued…

PS:

If anyone who simply likes reading the words, the language, the story, or wants to know more about the character, the mysteries and my world, please feel free to like or comment. Any kind of remark will be highly appreciated.

If any agent or publisher, or anyone who has any connection with any agent or any publisher, would be interested in this Fucking Book, please contact this email:

FB.Heather@Outlook.com

Thank you so much!

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9 thoughts on “The Fucking Book – Less Than Mystery – Part One – The Dwarf – Chapter Three(3)

  1. mbracedefreak says:

    I began using the ‘frame story” technique after realizing my ‘literary tension’ was too low. When you use the term ‘ The Fucking Book” you insinuate something different from what you have shown so far. Solemn and sweet is my impression of these first three chapters and not a hint of ‘Fucking’. You may shift into a new gear soon. You need to consider raising the tension or changing the expectation. You do many good tings. When your father beats your grandfather, the tension rises, but it should have more emotional impact. Your novel should start to boil, real soon, or you need to adjust the tension.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. mbracedefreak says:

    If t you advertise this as a real or fictional biography, this style may work, but you need to heighten the tension if you want to market in this any other way. You know how to paint– so paint the fight. Don’t just tell the reader it happened, What effect did it have on the girl? Have her run to the bamboo forest and cry. Maybe that’s in the next scene, but you should have had the girl and the reader in tears at the end of that last scene. You had a place to give the reader an emotional gut punch and failed to land the punch. Don’t take my criticism too harshly. You can fix everything I mentioned. Your novel has potential, but I don’t believe you polished it enough to publish.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Heather Cai says:

      Really love and appreciate this insightful comment! I can’t afford to paint yet. I think I understand what you mean – To make the beaten girl more dramatic; she should fight against what happened to her, or at least do something, right? The truth is, here in China, especially in a remote village where I came from, if a girl tried to do something about it, the punishment would be worse, and nowhere to escape. Throwing stones into the water was a way to fight; looking at the squared sky epitomized by the high mountains was the only way to escape from the cruety. Part One, I just wrote a series of incidents that helped me grow, or what made me who I am. I don’t like the idea to “Make up” anything to make it better but not “raw”. Not yet. This is probably something I will negotiate with the agent, the publisher too. I’m not sure if I will win, but I’ll try my best. I can’t agree more that I can “polish” it better. My problem is that I don’t have time and energy to “be stuck with the Fucking Book”. I must finish writing my second English novel and so my life can move on.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. mbracedefreak says:

    When I said ‘pain’ I meant paint the scene with words–Show, don’t tell is an old writer’s axiom. If you want to make your next book better; you should look at the end of this scene and notice that you told what happened; rather than, depict the trauma. The girl doesn’t need to physically lash out, but you do need to symbolize her pain in some way. You say bamboo symbolizes her grandfather–have her clench a bamboo cane as she watches the old man get beaten–show the pain.

    Liked by 1 person

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