Reflections on a WeChat Moment


The Wechat Moment | Crow’s Solo Exhibition in Shanghai M50 Art Zone, 2019.4.22


WeChat Image_20190703105238

Me & Crow | Photograph: Shan He, 2019.4.22


This speech, inspired by a WeChat Moment I posted recently. Here it is. What do you see? And what do you think of this Moment? Particularly this photo – me & Crow standing on the black feathers in front of his paintings that I like. Doesn’t it look normal to you? Yeah, pretty much. Right?


WeChat Image_20190703105254

Exhibition Poster, courtesy ART OF CROW


But to my family, it is not normal at all. The instant my mum saw this post in the morning she sent me tons of voice messages. “Don’t take a picture with a guy that ‘big’.” “Don’t share in public any man who is not your boyfriend.” “Don’t let a foreigner take advantage of your body.” “Don’t smile like you are having an affair with him.”


WeChat Image_20190703105154

Crow’s Solo Exhibition, 2019.4.22


Oh, isn’t my mum lovely? I adored her sense of humour. She is illiterate, she can only read pictures. If you were me hearing that, how would you react? If it was your mum telling you that, what would you say? Would you think it is absurd? Would you feel it is funny? 

I did.


WeChat Image_20190703105250

Crow’s Solo Exhibition, 2019.4.22


But… but when my old sister called me in the evening and said the same thing, I was shocked. She is half illiterate, as she didn’t have a chance to finish primary school. Undoubtedly she cannot read any English. Imagine her mood when she was asking me these questions – “Why did you take a picture with a guy that old?” “How could you post such a Moment?” “Don’t you think it’s too ugly to be graceful?” “Isn’t it bad for you to find a good husband?” “Do you know the others might take him as your real boyfriend?”


What? Wait, wait, wait…


WeChat Image_20190703105305

Crow’s Solo Exhibition, 2019.4.22


All of a sudden, I realized how much I’ve embarrassed my family and what they were worrying about was true. Probably having lived in a big city for a long time, I almost forgot what happened in a tiny village. Who would have thought the small thing in a remote corner can affect your current life in a busy center? Especially a surprising rumor that I didn’t give a damn about?


WeChat Image_20190703105245

Crow’s Solo Exhibition, 2019.4.22


In December 2013, I returned to my home village with my English editor Mike. He wanted to see where I grew up and was keen on taking his children to visit some dying villages on the edge of China. Before they came in the summer of 2014, I took Mike to my birthplace – the first man ever. 



The smoking house, my home in Fujian Province, 2014.8


Mike, Kat, Chris & Craig in my home village, Fujian, 2014.8


If later no one had spread the rumor that Mike was my boyfriend, with my ignorance and innocence, I could have never understood the fact that when a girl brings a man back to the village, the man must be her husband-to-be. And if my family didn’t remind me of such a fact behind the rumor, I probably wouldn’t be talking about this shit right now. It feels like a shame that was filmed for someone from an alien planet yet my family have been bearing it for me in silence.


WeChat Image_20190703120200

Details, courtesy ART OF CROW


Strangely, wherever I go, that part of my world with those who live under the sky as big as the mouth of a well, never stops haunting me at night.


WeChat Image_20190703120206

Details, courtesy ART OF CROW


And the strangest thing is, now I seem to be consciously aware of not taking a picture with a guy who is not my boyfriend. Can you believe that? I can’t even believe myself. A WeChat Moment begins to miraculously influence a rebellious leftover woman. Is it the power of something almost skeptical or my love for my family? Frankly, I don’t know.


WeChat Image_20190703105231

Photograph: courtesy Shan He, 2019.4.22


Do your family tell you what you should do and what you shouldn’t? Have they criticized anything about your lifestyle? Or are you free to do anything?



 – Art of Crow –


Artistic credo: “You can also paint a song”


Crow is a  German painter, rock musician, and performance artist. His paintings and installations are as energetic and passionate as his rock songs, inspired by the natural elements earth, air, fire, and water, and by a wild and free spirit.As the founder, vocalist and songwriter of the Heavy Metal band Medusa`s Child (1999-present), Crow toured through Europe and Asia, and his artwork was exhibited in China, Japan, Switzerland, Finland, Germany, and the USA. Alternating between microphone and brush, Crow follows his artistic credo – “You can also paint a song.“


Follow HeathersChamber for more original poems, essays, prose, drawings and pictures


qrcode_for_gh_1231092a6fe5_430 (1)wps图片

5 thoughts on “Reflections on a WeChat Moment

  1. Vile Yoga says:

    Beautiful pictures and writing . I was thinking about the frog in a well expression a lot lately for some reason, funny it came up again. I’ve never heard it since I moved back.


    • Heather Cai says:

      Thank you Vile. Glad to hear from you about the frog in a well. It has been an expression since I wanted to climb out of the mountains. What is your story about this expression, if you don’t mind to share a little with me?


  2. Vile Yoga says:

    I can’t think of a similar one in English! I remember having Chinese people explain the back story behind the analogy to me a couple times before I understood what it meant. My Grandma used to say that “New Yorkers think they are in the center of the world.” She said they thought they were cultured cause they were from a big, international city, but they were actually really uneducated about the world outside. I love the frog in a well expression mostly, because it conveys so much humility. No matter where we grow up or where we live we only see a piece of the sky. Really beautiful. I will do some googling to find the English version now 😉


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s